the rules

Of loving/dating. The unspoken code, if you will.

I'll try to outline what I do know about the American dating traditions even though I have no experience to speak of.

The rules differ from place to place, person to person. There's many different kinds of relationships, as well, even within the romantic spectrum. Some people like to date on and off with a group of people they associate with, but think of as reserved for romantic interest rather than friendship. Others prefer one person to proudly go steady with. The level of secrecy is perhaps the most personal. Some people feel confident enough in their parents to let them be one of the first people to know, but most people my age will just tell their friends. Some people don't tell anyone at all, preferring to wait for someone to notice, or perhaps assuming it's none of anyone's business. (This is the French way. A French couple never introduces a romantic partner to their parents as that kind of partner unless things are marriage-serious.)

Perhaps there are rules we can all agree on, then. Let's discuss the cultural differences in relationships that you'd notice if you went to a new place. Formal relationship rules are found in places like Germany and Japan whose culture generally requires that people are quite reserved about their thoughts and feelings. There are things all couples are supposed to do, like make chocolates on valentine's day or buy a bouquet of "the right flowers" to express your love to someone. Flowers, especially roses, and their colors matter a lot in Europe. Red can mean passionate love, while lavender represents infidelity. But in places like France, Italy, or Spain, it's a lot less formal. There's a good atmosphere for lovers and people are culturally, well, enamored by love. In France they don't really use an official relationship status. They keep things cool and casual, and it takes a lot of stress and conflict out of the situation, in my opinion.

I can't speak personally about the American dating experience because I don't really have that experience. I've been lent a jacket in the cold before, and bought a meal, but those occasions weren't with an American nor were they in America. So, here I guess I'm just awkward about the whole thing.

High school relationships here SEEM pretty casual; but I think there's a lot of unnecessary drama brought about by the stress and confusion that specific relationship titles and such bring. There's so much pressure in it all that I'm not sure I'd like to be involved in that bullshit myself. I guess I'm just casual about the whole thing, really. I don't really care one way or the other. In general, I think people in american high school take themselves and their relationships way too seriously ( not that the taking themselves seriously thing was anything new.)

Also, text message dating? Fucking ridiculous.