[escape]

I don't have a daily schedule except to go to school. I don't like to label the things that I do as being routine, because then they will be. It's true that things get repetitive. It's true that I'm less likely to do something the more I have to do it. I don't expect much from my life, there isn't much I can do as I have no money, power, or status. What if I could create these things for myself? Everyone is telling me that I can, but I don' t think those things are important, unless there's an ulterior motive for doing these things. I don't think I can do them. It's not in my annoyance capacity.

I'm well aware most of my classes don't teach me anything of worth. Just look at PE. Physical Education my ass. I'm not learning anything about how to keep myself fit and the tests we're periodically given are so elementary they have virtually nothing of benefit to teach. Pacers, in my opinion, are a lazy teacher's way of making sure he works his kids into the ground. It's not even creative. Running is instinct. Basic cardio, no effort. Not to mention effort means nothing if you can't complete 40 laps or 20 curl-ups. Repulsive. A disgusting degradation of fitness.
Perhaps PE is a bad example. Nobody expects you to learn anything in PE, anyway (which might be why it's so bad.) Let me use another.
Geometry. You will never, ever use geometry in life unless you want to manually hang picture frames without a bubble gauge. My dad's a computer programmer, you bet he uses math, and none of it is geometry. So why would they make it a requirement? Do they want me to learn to think a certain way? I've heard numerous theories about geometry. People who are good at algebra hate geometry, even though it's really just algebra on a grid. Geometry is confusing, it's less math than it is bullshit, especially today when our textbooks for math are packed tight with just that. I'm willing to bet 70% of what they'll teach me this year is bullshit they invented so that they could sell another round of textbooks to California schools and make more money which they certainly don't deserve. People who write these textbooks must be fat and pompous. Perhaps I'm letting my emotions get ahead of me-either way, imo, it's a valid opinion to keep.

It's not even that I hate geometry... I just hate how it's taught and what it's become. Even though it is useless. I'm pretty enraged today.

(Written on Wednesday. Today, Thursday, I'm editing.)

Possibly the worst part about my despondent mentality is that I understand that in my mind I'm perfectly capable of completing each task I'm assigned. It might be easier for me if I had an idea of things I wanted to learn. Or things to actively learn. I wish the majority of the 6 hours I spend in school daily was learning, but it's not. I wish I had a plethora of interesting things to read and talk about with my peers, but their general lack of interest leaves me depressed. I love discussing things. I think it's the best way for me to learn something, because there are always other opinions which I would like to be brought up.
It's not really like that, though... I don't think anyone has offered to tell me or show me what they've written or drawn for school unless we have to present it. Am I asking too much? Am I bored? I must be the worst kind of bored because I'm prone to failing as well.

I did well in middle school... perhaps it's all my mentality.